To this day, I have no idea how I didn’t end up being a smoker. I can honestly say it’s not for lack of trying. In my teen years, growing up in Haiti, smoking was THE cool thing to do. So I tried it… and tried it… and tried some more. To no avail! It was as if I liked smoking but it didn’t like me back. And in the end I gave up.
I count myself lucky, and I am guilty of what this article’s author describes as an increasingly hostile attitude towards smokers. But I also realize that this attitude just makes them retreat further into their habit, much like the overweight kid who gets picked on at school and seeks comfort in food.
So I reached out to a smoker with the question: “What is the most useless advice you have received over the years, and what kind of support would actually help you quit smoking?”. Quite an eye-opener.
I’ve been a smoker for about 15 years. I never intended to take on that label; in fact, I hated the smell of smoke when I was a kid. But somewhere between childhood and becoming a teenager, I thought it would be a good idea to take up the cigarette habit.
What started as a social thing turned into a pack-a-day addiction that I still haven’t managed to kick. I’ve tried nicotine patches, gum, going cold turkey, slowly reducing how much I smoke, electronic cigarettes, hypnotherapy, and even Chantix. While each method had its merits, especially on a short-term basis, none were enough to help me quit for good.
I remember being able to smoke in the mall and inside restaurants when I was younger, but society is becoming increasingly hostile to those of us who choose to pollute our lungs with tobacco. These days, even standing outside with a cigarette draws hateful looks (and the occasional rude comment). While I fully agree that non-smokers should not be forced to breathe secondhand smoke, I also think people could stand to ease up on the hate just a little.
Everyone has opinions about my smoking habit, and they aren’t afraid to share them. (I can only imagine what would happen if I walked up to someone and made “helpful” suggestions about how to lose weight.) Here, in no particular order, are 5 pieces of advice about smoking that I could do without:
- “You know, that’s bad for you!” REALLY? You mean smoking isn’t healthy? Wow. I never would have figured that out on my own. I had no idea that smoking can cause lung cancer, COPD, emphysema, and countless other health problems. It’s not like the packs have warning labels or anything. Thank you, kind citizen, for educating me.
- “My [relative] used to smoke, and s/he quit using [method].” Believe it or not, I am aware that lots of people quit smoking every year. I am also aware of the various methods of quitting, many of which I’ve tried. I never know what I’m supposed to say to those remarks. “Wow, how wonderful for your cousin! Tell him congratulations!”
- “You know, if you quit smoking, food will taste better.” Yes, because that’s exactly what I need. Food tastes pretty damn good already, so I might as well park a chair in front of the fridge if it’s going to taste even better. Cigarettes act as an appetite suppressant, and while that’s not a good reason to smoke, it’s a bad argument for quitting. So I’m supposed to give up a habit that I enjoy, AND I might get fat? Oh gee, sign me up!
- “I don’t know how you stand that smoke smell.” So now you’re saying I stink? This just keeps getting better! Here’s a pro tip: Most smokers are not those disgusting people whose skin is saturated with nicotine smell. I don’t smoke in my house, and I only smoke in my car on long trips. My clothes don’t smell like smoke unless I go to a bar. While I admit my senses are probably dulled compared to a nonsmoker, I know that stench all too well. And I hate it too.
- “Smoking is expensive! You should quit!” Yeah, thanks. My habit costs me about $1300 a year, and it would be much more if I didn’t live in Kentucky (our prices stay low in support of tobacco farmers – can’t drive away business!). Since it comes out of my wallet, I’m well aware of the expense. But saying I should quit because it’s expensive is like me saying you should stop buying groceries because they’re expensive. You can’t just magically stop doing something that’s become almost as natural as breathing.
What to Say to a Smoker
If smoking really bothers you and you’d like to help, the first step is to keep judgmental comments like the above to yourself. We are physically addicted to nicotine, and nothing you say will change that overnight. Nagging just makes us want to escape and take a smoke break. You may find the habit disgusting, and I understand that. But you probably do disgusting things too, and I don’t tell you about it.
Just once, I’d like to hear someone say, “If you ever decide to quit and want some support, I’d be glad to help.” Just that and nothing else, ever. That would let me know the person cares but doesn’t feel compelled to lecture me. And if the day ever comes when I’m ready to quit smoking for good, those are the people I could be around without needing a cigarette as a crutch.
Anyway, let’s focus on you. i completely understand how you feel. i listen to friends of mine every day talk about how awesome they are at starving themselves — “oh, i only ate three pretzel chips today!!”…. kill me. that is not healthy, and i don’t care how effing skinny you are, IT’S UNHEALTHY. so don’t do that. you’ve got to start taking your own advice, because if you don’t, then the advice you are giving to others is empty. if you can tell someone else that weight doesn’t matter and they are beautiful no matter what size they are, but you don’t believe that and apply that to yourself, then those words mean nothing to that person. you have to believe what you say and you have to understand that you aren’t unworthy of feeling beautiful. you have a boyfriend who clearly loves you for you, and you are very lucky in that, because i know plenty of people who cannot say the same — and they range from sizes 2 to 20, so it’s not about the weight.
I’m not sure what you are thinking if you are reading this, but you might be thinking, “why should i listen to this random stranger?” well, i think you should listen to me because i am literally the same person as you — or at least i was. after my last breakup my ex decided to lash out at me and told me that no one will ever love me again because I’m fat, that he was always embarrassed to be seen with me, that people always wondered what a guy like him was doing with a girl like me. and i got depressed, and i stopped working out, and i ate. a lot. and i gained — a lot. i felt like, what is the point? then one day i woke up, and i snapped out of it. i got up, and i started to exercise again (which I always enjoyed, because i was a soccer player myself, but never thin like your cousin). and i did it for me. and i lost the weight i had gained, and i felt so much better about myself! it no longer mattered what my mom or my friends or my ex or some person on the street thought about me or my clothes, all that mattered was how I felt in my clothes and in my own skin. you have to get to the point where you get SELFISH and start taking care of YOURSELF because YOU deserve it, not because anyone else thinks you should (even your own mom).
and here’s another little piece of info that once i accepted, i slept better at night: no matter what size you are, no matter what you look like, someone somewhere will have a problem with it. whether I’m a size 6 or a size 16, someone will have something to say. maybe it won’t be about weight, maybe it will be about my hair color, or my skin color, or my choice of clothes that day, or my nose, or something. people will ALWAYS find something to say, because it makes them feel better about their own insecurities. and understand that it’s natural to feel insecure — EVERYONE feels insecure at one time or another, and anyone who says they don’t is lying through their teeth.
just start waking up in the morning and focusing on the things you DO like about yourself, and try to eat healthy and keep up that good workout, and you’ll start thinking and feeling better about your body. I’m sure you are way too critical on yourself, as most people are (I know I am)…and it’s okay to critique yourself from time to time. but remember that you’ve got great things going for you — you’re in college so you’re smart and you will be successful, and your mom loves you (despite what she says about your cousins) and your boyfriend loves you. take a deep breath — a lot of people out there are a lot worse off, right?
A lot of individuals that are currently attempting the south beach diet program have created a requirement for a lot of info of the diet part a pair of. The plan is one among the latest trends within the health business and has been terribly successful for plenty of individuals. the simplest half regarding this diet is that the indisputable fact that anyone will do it. it’s not designed for a particular age cluster or body kind. it’s solely designed to urge your body to urge use to eating healthy foods and to chop down on cravings of your unhealthy, guilty pleasure foods.
Due to the very fact that this regimen may be a comparatively new trend on the scene, there’s not abundant detailed info out there regarding how it works. this is often particularly the case for the second section of the diet. plenty of the knowledge that’s out there on-line does not properly make a case for how the second part of the plan works. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the primary part, you ought to analysis it before following the guide on the phase 2 that’s below.
During the 2nd section of the program you’ll begin to eat the foods that you simply cut out of your diet throughout the primary section. this is often what most of the guides on-line say and this is often correct, but the quantity of those foods is very unclear in most guides and tutorials. the foremost vital issue to recollect is that the second part solely permits you to eat these foods attributable to the success of the primary part. South Beach Diet Section 2 is suppose to bolster the items that you simply learned throughout the primary one.
When you begin introducing these foods back to your diet plan you ought to solely do therefore if you actually need to own them. They should not automatically be brought back to your program. In fact, if you are doing not have any cravings for these foods and might comfortably go while not, you should. usually|this can be} the quantity one issue that’s often misinterpreted in an exceedingly ton of the net guides.
During the diet phase 2 you ought to be in complete management. this implies that you easily shouldn’t continue you with the diet if you’re still having uncontrollable cravings for the foods that you simply cut out throughout part one. If you expertise these cravings or the other lack of self management you ought to resort back to part one. In most cases the initial a pair of weeks of the 1st part are enough, but some folks could need to extend this era and this is often fine and safe.
When the section 2 begins you need to be paying shut attention to your cravings and the way several of the foods that you easily consuming that you originally cut of your plan throughout part one. If you discover yourself resorting back to your recent habits you ought to immediately begin the program over. The second part should last for as long as you would like to succeed in your required weight.
Now, I’m almost 40 and, more than anything else, I would love to be a cartoonist of some sort. For years, I’ve been drawing only as a hobby. I show my pics to my wife, family members, colleagues and friends and I love to see their faces light up. I’ve often seen myself with an easel in a public square drawing caricatures of people, especially parents and children, for extra money. I’ve also pictured myself doing a cartoon strip or gags at my own desk. I also see myself drawing cartoon pictures for English language books. As you can tell, I have many wishes, but no clear direction yet.
Last year, I finally took a step towards making this wish a reality by enrolling in a distance-learning course. I have a personal tutor in London and after I complete 10 assignments, I will receive my license. Right now, I am almost finished the 5th assignment.
What I really need is to remain motivated and to find my niche in drawing. I dream of getting my cartoons out there but I don’t know how. I dream of surviving financially throught drawing but I have no idea how.
Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers and any feedback is most appreciated. Thank you.
Like many people, I have a dream. In fact, I’ve had many but none have really been fulfilled. I could probably come up with 1001 excuses as to why not but what is boils down to is my lack of motivation.
Basically, I tend to give up too easily. I grew up the youngest of four children and, of course I love my three older sisters, I was often shy and afraid to do things for fear of being picked on. This shyness carried over into school, work and other parts of my life.
Just thinking about these 3 points:
1. I too am an artist that hasn’t really found their niche. The art world is a strange place, and I hear of different ways people make money from art all the time. I tried to go to your Squidoo page but the site is down (I love Squidoo). I recently found out about ATC Artist Trading Cards, through Squidoo and eBay. Also handmade collectible postcards by artists. I happen to like Vintage Halloween stuff, and happened upon this niche area.
Be very careful with web sites and domain names because if you choose the wrong host, you can run into many problems (I can write a book about it). I like ComicLife (for Mac) as far as preparing cartoons for the web. Learn as much as you can about optimizing your line-art for print and the web. You’d be surprised to know how much crappy work goes to press and/or is “put-up” online.
Creative Commons provides a little protection for your work, on the cheap. CafePress is a good way to see how your stuff will look and sell once you prepare it, and Squidoo can help boost sales. However, CafePress seems to be the ones making all the money so find a good silkscreen printer and offset printer after you like what you see. You’ll have more control over your final product.
Good Luck! The journey of a thousand miles starts with just one footstep.
2. trying –
Shyness does prevent a person from fulfilling their dreams. You express yourself through your artwork – I understand – I am the same way.
Take that step forward – it may not be as solid as you want right now – but keep walking forward and don’t give up!
Another way of using your artwork – there are many people out there that are writing children’s books (for instance) and would love to meet someone like you!
Take a deep breath and take that step forward!
Fear holds many people back from great opportunities. I always had a lot of great ideas, and I felt too much fear to follow through on them. One thing that worked for me was to put my ideas on paper, and then to try one idea each week. I made an agreement with myself to not quit until I had tried each one. At first it was difficult, but it became easier, and soon I was successful. It was a small success at first, but it is growing, and I am gaining confidence.
Find places that you can submit your cartoons, and submit them. Set up your easel at a local fair or, maybe at a local coffee shop.
You might find Susan Jeffers book, “Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway” helpful. She offers a lot of ideas for overcoming fears, and bypassing excuses.
You have a gift to offer, and I see you expressing your talent in a way that is satisfying and financially profitable for you, and that brings joy to others.
I intend for today to be a fun productive day and all challenges will be met with enthusiasm and be completed effortlessly. I also intend to be in perfect health and to keep attracting money and lucrative ideas to help me attain financial freedom. Things that would normally be annoying or bothersome throughout the day bounce off me and turn to good.
Take my vitamins.
Look forward to….
I awoke really irritable today because I have a cold brewing and am feeling it in my chest and throat. I’ve taken my vitamins and Echinacea but still feel logey and am trying to rise above this. I also seem bothered by little things, the neighbors loud music at 6a.m., my slow computer…things that don’t normally annoy me so much. I’m trying to turn it around and be grateful for all the things going well in my life: the job, my partner, the better income…
Try to turn it around
Yes, turning is around is the best way to go.
I was irritable today because I had to get up at 5AM so I can be ready for a 7AM class. Then, when I get there, what happens? Only 2 of 10 students show up at the beginning and another one comes in 45 minutes late. I know the feeling. But once the class was finished, I realized that the students who made the effort to show, were the winners and I was one also.
Let go and forgive
Remove the physiological stress – negative thoughts and undue stress (loud music, slow computers – little things that really are not significant) which cause dis-ease and dysfunction in the body and your body will heal itself.
Let go of all negative thoughts and your natural state of health will emerge.
Dis-ease is held by negative thought – focus thoughts on perfect health.
Forgive your neighbors – give thanks for having wonderful and considerate neighbors. Practice that each day – your neighbors will surprise you and become perfect neighbors.
You are healed and feeling wonderful, peace and harmony are in your life!
I greet this day with optimism, knowing that every minute of every hour brings me closer to me dreams of prosperity, abundance,love and happiness. I share of myself with others and benefit from their insights. My energy remains high all day and every cell of my body vibrates in perfect health and harmony!
Take care of me as I would take care of anyone else.
Be gentle with myself.
Keep my expectations high.
Radiate my desires out to the universe.
Today is going to be a long day first of all because a toothache has been bothering me. But on a great note, my dreary job ends today and I’ll be training my replacement! I also have to work at the restaurant later but I enjoy the people there so that’s not a problem. Just a long day today and I’d really like to just rest a bit. Well, it should be busy and should go by quickly. I’m thinking of it as an opportunity to wrap up a situation that didn’t vibrate with me and be able to enter a new, happy time!!
When reading it made me think about something said in The Secret DVD. In nature growth is effortless, like the blade of grass growing up through the asphalt. Letting go of a job that didn’t resonate with you is a positive move into a direction that is effortless. I think we all strive to achieve that “effortless” lifestyle but allowing yourself the opportunity to live it is the real challenge.
As someone who works constantly I can understand your desire for endurance. I find that my positivity is what gets me through the long work days. And, it sure makes the days go by smoother when you’re a happy person.
My relationship with my ex-husband and his wife is healthy, loving and we all do what is best for the our children.
My relationship with my ex-husband and his wife is healthy, loving and we all do what is best for the our children.
We have a mutual respect and get along well. We spend time together at games like we always have, we have a good times together like we use to and my daughter has a great loving relationship with her father.
Everything is forgiven and forgotten. And we move on as a happy co-creative family.
I am practicing forgivness and really trying not to focus on what has happened.
My teenage daughter, her father and his wife have not been getting along. She has been coming home miserable from her weekend visits and it’s been getting worse.
I sent him a sincere message suggesting that we all sit down and figure out what is going on with her, why they are not communicating and see if we can come up with a solution. We always had good communication, so I thought the suggestion would be well received.
Essentially, my ex-husband forwarded my message to his wife, his wife responded to him BUT ACCIDENTLY SENT IT TO ME!.
It was the most venomous, heartless, hateful email I have ever seen. The hateful remarks she made about me and my daughter were unbelievable and I was shocked at first and then devastated.
I was really hurt because for years I thought we had a good relationship, we talked, we would sit together at the kids football games, I really believed we were all partners in raising the kids and I took pride in the fact that I had a good relationship with my ex-husband and his wife.
Little did I know how she REALLY felt about me and my daughter and my heart was broken.
I don’t know how to fix this.
A few good suggestions here:
You may want to think about. The relationship may need to be approached differently with her dad. I would suggest you look at whether you are caretaking her father’s relationship. Your daughter is old enough now to discuss with him. I would suggest your daughter ask her father, What kind of relationship do you want? For her to tell her father what kind of relationship she wants. But she needs to be respectful to him as her father. I have done this with my daughter and has brought us a lot closer emotionally. It take the emotion out of your realm and places the responsibility between them. It will help them BOTH grow in their relationship. She will appreciate you more in the long run.
Give people the responsibilty for the relationship.
I can only imagine how it must have felt as you read that e-mail — I know there must be a sense of betrayal as well as everything else.
I don’t believe there are ever “accidents.” You got that e-mail so that you would know the truth that your daughter was speaking.
I also believe that what your ex’s wife was expressing was really about HER not you. We only express what we are.
As other’s have said, this is an opportunity — to forgive her, to realize this was really a cry for attention from her husband, and to have compassion that her feelings about her life are so terrible — this is not about you and your daughter — you can just BE love.
And of course, let your daughter decide where she wants to be.
My wife and I have experience many things in our ten years together, every time I think of her my heart swells as if there were no more room left for more love, but each time I can put in just a bit more… My children have given me a new lease on life and how to experience the joy it has to offer. My children are teaching me to be a kid again. I still get excited when I am getting home from work, anticipating the moment I get to great my beautiful wife and wonderful children.
I was watching FoxNews tonight and they covered a story on discrimination against obese persons in the workplace. Specifically, and most outrageous, they reported that some companies fire and won’t hire people who are obese. The reason given, rising healthcare costs.
Now, you know I don’t advocate obesity. I say eat right, exercise and make every effort you can to return to a healthy weight. However, I also don’t advocate discrimination on the part of employers just because someone is overweight, even morbidly so.
A summary of twenty-nine laboratory and field studies published by the American Obesity Association, for example, shows that:
- Overweight persons are subject to discrimination in performance appraisals and other employment decisions based on body weight and they are stereotyped as emotionally impaired and possessing negative personality traits.
- Wages of morbidly obese white women are 24.1% lower that their standard weight counterparts.
- Discrimination based upon weight is far more common than discrimination based on personal characteristics such as sex.
- People display more negative attitudes toward overweight employees than toward ex-felons or ex-mental patients.
I realize rising health costs are crippling the marketplace. I also realize employers have the right to hire and fire anyone they choose. At least that’s the case in my state. But, that doesn’t make it right.
What legal recourse do obese people have? The Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA), 42 U.S.C. § 12101, which was passed in 1990, bars discrimination based on disability and requires that employers provide a reasonable accommodation in the workplace to qualified individuals with a disability. While obesity is not generally considered a disability, morbid obesity often is.
For a further explanation of what the law says and what legal might be taken, read Obesity and Morbid Obesity in the Workplace.
I finally made an appointment and went in to see the doctor on Friday I could not put it off any longer since I have not been at my best lately. Today I spent my lunch hour at the lab getting my blood drawn.
When I got to the lab the receptionist was not at the front desk but the waiting area had only two people waiting making for a painless wait. Unfortunately the process of drawing blood was not as painless. I am a gigantic baby when it comes to needles that someone else has control over, I like to control my own injections whenever possible, making me itsy bitsy on edge for the whole draw my blood gig. My experiences with the highly train medical vampires does nothing to help calm me nevertheless I always go in with optimism thinking this time will be different than the last.
I rolled up my sleeve offering my arm while cautiously telling Helen, the medical vampire, that she might want to just skip the whole arm thing and use the back of my hand. Helen did not like my suggestion very much replying that she will get a vain in my arm and that she always does. I relaxed when she reached for the butterfly needle I looked up into her face and smiled while telling myself, it will really be different this time just wait and see. I re-lived in my mind’s eyes those past times when I walk out with four Band-Aids representing the four tries on my arm before they finally give up and use the back of my hand. Helen repeatedly tapped the spot making sure she is really feeling a vain before sticking me with the needle.
No blood came gushing out so, she proceeding in manipulating the needle in my flesh searching for the vain. “Let me know when this becomes unbearable” she said I felt like picking up a needle with my free arm and showing her the meaning of “unbearable” but the images of me living out the rest of my life in jail reduced me to grinding my teeth instead. My repeated moan of ouches did not stop her she continued till she found a vain well; she did say she always finds a vain.
My doctor will get the results back in three days but had asked for me to come back in to see her in a week meaning unless I am dying the doctors office will not be calling me they will just wait till I get back in to see them.
Is that a question you’ve ever asked yourself? If you’re overweight, lead a sedentary lifestyle, and don’t eat a proper diet or get much exercise, perhaps you ought to think about asking it?
If you lack understanding of the disease and its ramifications in terms of how diabetes impacts your health, read this article. It gives a good basic overview of the disease and will provide you with something to think about at least.
Are you diabetic? If you don’t know the answer to that question, you should.
Quick Reviews by the readers:
1. I see so much information for type II diabetics. And if you’re a type I diabetic (which is me) and you tell anyone they immediately assume it’s because your lazy. When will they fully categorize the 2 in a different way? I work out, I work hard on keeping my blood sugars in check, I have a pump, check my glucose level a minimum of 4 times, eat well. And I get labeled as being lazy or inable to control my diet which leads to me being diabetic. It makes me so mad, my type I is not laziness it’s not that I don’t watch what I eat, it’s the fact that I produce 0 zilch no insulin.
Why isn’t there a better way, it’s what 1 out of 10 is diabetic and 1 out of 10 of those that are diabetic are type I. It seems like the type I not only has a harder time physically in keeping everything in check but then we have the stigma of being lazy or incapable of eating well.
2. I’m a Type 2, that does all the things that you list above — use a pump, watch what I eat, exercise regularly, etc….
However, because of genetics and other medical issues, I’m not only diabetic but overweight too.
I also get fed up with all the obesity articles, and all the rude comments. My favorite is the people who assume I don’t exercise — I do, and do weights and cardio 6 days a week.
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Pooping Blood = Rectal Cancer?
According to studies, almost 80% of people will suffer from hemroids sometime in their lives. Experts agree that of those suffering, many will experience symptoms that aren’t only physical, but mental symptoms as well. Namely, anxiety and panic attacks. Ironically, in many cases the panic attacks caused by the hemorrhoids can be far more harmful than themselves.
The symptom of panic attacks, like hemroid symptoms, can range from slight irritation to full blown pain. Symptoms of panic attacks include problems breathing, chills, feeling like you are going to faint, adrenaline rush or racing heart, profuse sweating, and even an irrational fear and general feeling of impending doom or death. The best way to deal with panic attacks related to hemroid problems is to educate yourself on hemroids, and then find a way to treat the problem.
Understand What Hemroids Are
The first step is to realize what they are. They are a very common ailment that the majority of people will suffer from at some point in their lives. Simply knowing that almost 4 out of 5 people will someday deal with this problem should help put you at ease. Hemroids are simply an inflammation of the anal region. Although they can be painful, they are not life threatening, and have been treated successfully for decades.
Identify If You Have Hemroids
To help battle panic attacks caused by hemroids, make sure you have them to begin with and aren’t worrying for nothing. Figuring out if you have them is a very easy process. Do you bleed from your anus when going to the bathroom? Do you find blood on your toilet paper after wiping? If so, there is a good chance you have a hemroid. More severe symptoms can make this diagnosis even more obvious, and include uncontrolled defecating, swelling of the anus, and lumps around the anus.
Know That They Are Treatable
Because hemroids affect so many people, it should come as no surprise that several treatments are available. These range from dietary changes to invasive surgery. While it is true that some of the treatments may cause a person suffering from panic attacks to feel even more uneasy initially, such as the elastic band treatment which uses rubber bands to suffocate and kill the hemroid, in the long run knowing these treatments will help a person have a better sense of control by being aware of all options. And knowing that there are treatments that are both painless and fast, like the one at amazon shop will quickly crush the panic attacks. That’s what happened to Phil H, as the following story will show.
Real Life Example Of Overcoming Them
Phil H., from San Francisco developed hemroids. It seemed like a sever case as well, with his doctor telling him that surgery would be the only answer to his problem. Of course this caused a lot of anxiety, and panic attacks just thinking about surgery. Luckily Phil found the manuals and methods at here to be a great help, and using a method he learned from there he stopped the bleeding in just two days, and after his problem was taken care of, his panic attacks left as well. Remember that if you are suffering from panic attacks caused by hemroids, do the following. Learn about them, identify if you have them, know the treatments, and take action today!